Tides of Resistance

I would readily admit to being a procrastinator. You see, I have this notion that hesitation sometimes is a good thing. In my case, it allows me to percolate and ruminate, cast spells and have the jitters over the possibilities of failure. I have been chasing my tail, so to speak in this way for years, letting the spirit move me at just the right moment and then, plunging headlong into the work until its done, on time!

This is a formula that encapsulates my outer world. Everyday, I can climb that mountain, wait, and then proceed down the hill. When I first arrived at RSE in 1992, I was thoroughly versed in my world of art and communication. However, my interior landscape was murky and thick with deep forests of doubt. As a beginning student of the great work, I wanted to be brave. I was desperate to know what was beyond pliable thought. Eager and earnest, I sat, poised and ready to "Behold God". Or so I thought.

Familiar territory defines most of what we call our comfort zones. The discipline of "Focus" in the early stages of my training were not different from what I did in my studio before creating artwork. I often covered my eyes with a bandana and moved to the music, releasing the power of the "Force". However, at school stillness was how one harnessed the power of the Void, and it was becoming increasingly more difficult for me to be still. Freeing the mind of chatter and honing in on one finite image was more of a challenge than I realized. As an artist, I am awash in ideas and visions and who knows what and sitting in the dark with my eyes covered is when the screen of visual delights come alive. I had to learn to disassociate "dreamtime" for concrete creation in focus. Holding one image with the intent on manifesting it into a coagulated reality out of thin air, has always been for me, a profound exercise in serious magic,

The slow journey to stillness into the Void took me through the chambers of the dark night of the soul. Being still was so difficult. The need to move and affirm that I am this body was really intense. Talking to myself did not help my cause. Stopping the chatter was useless, especially when we were instructed to focus on one thing. These early attempts at "Focus" were painful and guilt ridden. I had to acclimate myself to stop wanting to analyze the process and just do it. This took a lot to time to overcome because the resistance of my body and mind to be still was nearly impossible. My desire had to be stronger than my need. I discovered the discipline of C+E was my greatest alley. I use to blow furiously to the point of near exhaustion, which allowed me to be calm enough to sit in focused rapture. Many times, we had the added benefit of our teacher's voice guiding us into a state of complete surrender. These moments were vital to changing the tone and makeup of how I approached this discipline. Resistance began to weaken and yet, to my surprise there was an even bigger issue.
Getting over the physical need to be still was one thing, but having the fortitude to do this regularly was another story. I had this notion that once I knew how to focus, I would be ready and able to do it everyday. I knew that the experiential approach to change inherent limited behaviors, along with the teachings were the most effective way to getting first hand knowledge. To my dismay, the struggle to override the genetic structure and biological imprinting that is the human condition, proved to be daunting. Resistance grew to be persistent. As I began to advance in my disciplines and in the school, the clear and present danger of not "levitating" at the drop of a hat, puzzled me greatly. Were the seeds of change stunted in the soil of my limitations, or were they just on the cusp of sprouting? I had to find answers. Like JZ wanted to know recently, why is there resistance to follow through with the disciplines when we have first hand experience to the contrary? Or, as the teacher who loves us might ask, have we simply not seen how far we have come already?

The idea that human beings could know themselves as god-man, god-woman realized is a foreign concept on planet Earth. When we look at what the teachings are asking a mind and body to do, we see it's as outlandish as going to outer space without a ship. There is a global inculcation that insists we are a captive audience to an unknown force without access to such omnipotence. From birth, we are limited and fragile. We are told life is short and we are insignificant in the end. This mindset is massively dynamic in everyday life. Through religions and social conditioning, it organizes and manufactures our egos, personalities and ideals. We come and go on the strength of just how much we have attached ourselves to this way of understanding our world. There is the Almighty God and then, there is us.

Enter the Ram and inertia be damned!

I imagine that to re-calibrate the limited energy and unconscious levels of the students who flocked to this 35,000 year old master,was not a challenge, but TRUE LOVE. Enlisting the aid of his beloved Ramala was the only way to bring sweeping change in both the truth of who we really are and in the transformation of consciousness. The encoding and decoding of false realities to be unraveled in our collective consciousness has taken all the time JZ/RAM has given to this process. How well we progressed was based on each student. That the unraveling is happening and on going is the good news in my opinion. The human construct has been bastardized into an ideology that doesn't know itself and 38 years may not be enough to override the system, yet it is a good beginning. The advances we have made collectively as a student body may not amount to the gold ring, but we are never going back to sleep! Our ancient DNA is alive and well.

In the light of all eternity, I am still a beginner student but, the awakening has begun. And, just as it takes the sun several hours to rise fully in the sky, we too, will rise and SHINE!

"How is it that you access fabled mastership"
A fabled master is one who has created a mind,
and the mind is the highway of the self
through manifestation"

-Ramtha
Italy, August 2013

With great love and respect
Esprit

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