I have spent over 20 years stashing things away for “the days to come”. I had a well stocked safe place, and every day I vigorously protected my place from thieves and vandals, trespassers and intruders. Then robbers came. My first thoughts were “I have failed! Why didn’t my protection work? How could this happen?”

For the next week or so I was on a roller coaster ride of emotions – fear being the strongest one – fear of them coming back – fear of not having what I need for survival which of course equates to “fear of death” – fear of failure as a parent to provide for my kids.

So I eventually came to realize that my vigorously protecting my place everyday came from fear – I had not been aware of that. I thought I was being strong in my protection – but it was fear that was behind it all so……. of course my fear manifested!

At one point in my roller coaster ride the fear was so strong (heart pounding, I could hardly breathe) I didn’t seem able to stop the thoughts “Oh my god! I think they took…….” “What if they come back?” I got up and did some C&E – it helped a little but did not stop the fear. Then I remembered the teaching about the second level entities who feed off of our emotions. So I commanded them to leave – that helped a lot. After a while I realized the only thing to do was to surrender to my Holy Spirit, the God within me that I am. I am not my things. My sovereignty does not come from things, it comes from my Holy Spirit who can manifest anything in an instant.

I incorporated that in my walk, my life, my C&E, my candle focus. “I surrender my life completely to my Holy Spirit!”

It is getting easier to know that and day by day I am owning that truth more and more.

As the thoughts come “Oh! I think they took……” I am able to just surrender to my Holy Spirit instead of fear.

This has been a fantastic runner! I am grateful for it! I am learning so much about me – seeing, naming, and owning a lot!

Thank you Holy Spirit for pushing my out of my complacency and for showing me more of the truth about me.